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(I said no.) In a seminar I teach every other year, we discuss the ways that addiction reveals certain truths about embodiment. The students adore this book, and we have fascinating conversations in class. The woman who got drunk and got raped behind the dumpster is the victim of a toxic culture.

My students resonate deeply with Knapp’s experiences, and I continue to be struck by how unfree these students feel. I have not been raped, and I did not engage in non-marital intercourse.

Once the culture embraced non-marital sex and made it the norm, women who do not want to have casual sex often feel like outcasts, like weirdos. I did have an encounter early in my life, however, that gives me a glimpse of the shame experienced by women who “hook up.” When I was sixteen years old, my sister took me to a bar near her college campus.

I’ve only had sex with six guys.” This young woman was nineteen when she said this to me.

Once, in a writing assignment about Socrates and the Allegory of the Cave, a student wrote that she decided to make better choices after she woke up one morning in a trailer, covered with scratches, naked, next to a man she didn’t remember meeting. All too often, these women come to me in a state of bewilderment.




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