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If I entered the dating arena with a closed mind, sure of what I liked, I would have never have met those men and learned those lessons.

Eight: Address Your Social Needs Divorce is alienating. The person that you spent most of your time with is gone.

Move slowly enough that you can appreciate each step and acclimate along the way.

This was a lesson that I learned from my current beau of 2 years.

He emphasized the need to progress slowly, pausing along the way like divers coming from the deep.

It allowed both of time to become comfortable and provided opportunity to work through issues as they arose.

The following are my suggestions for your ten commandments of dating after divorce.

Join a class, sign up for (I swear most of the people I met on Meetups were divorced! You don’t have to keep all of your powerful emotions hidden from a date, but you also don’t want to flood him/her with them either. You get to meet new people and engage in new experiences.

Three: Release Expectations and View Each Encounter as a Lesson This is a big one. If you enter each date excepting a positive experience, you will be disappointed at least some of the time.

If you approach the meeting as a lesson, you will never be let down and you will gain valuable (or at least interesting) information in the meantime.♦◊♦Four: Be True to Yourself The period after divorce is a vulnerable time.

It’s exciting and it feels so good to have that feeling reawaken after you may have been fearing its death. Be open and willing to investigate these new alternatives.

Remember that this feeling is temporary, as the hormones fade back to normal levels, that initial rush will fade too. Enjoy the rush when it happens, but maintain enough distance that your rational brain has time to communicate its thoughts to you as well. But keep some distance so that you can check with yourself to make sure that you do not deviate too far from the true you.

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Thomas felt like she was using it as a “wedge issue” to obscure the fact that she simply wasn’t ready to live with someone, as if his “future unborn children had become a bargaining chip.” Eventually they broke up and Thomas moved out.

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