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Because so often, “Love is blind,” input and counsel from other people around you will be very helpful to spot positives or negatives in a relationship. All of these points, of course, you should prayerfully consider in your own life.

If we as women are unwilling to be above reproach in these areas, why should we expect that from men?

As cute as his flirtation may have seemed toward you, it might also be an indicator that he likes “playing the field” and will continue to—even just in seemingly harmless ways—after marriage. A man who is unwilling to take counsel shows that he is prideful instead of humble.

Proverbs says, “Where there is no guidance [counsel], a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” A man who seeks counsel is a man who desires to be wise. Has he invited accountability into his life from not only his friends, but older and wiser men?

Neither of your bodies belong to each other until you say “I do,” (1 Corinthians 7:4), so it is wrong for a man to treat a woman as if he has free reign with her body before marriage.

I think it is safe to ask this question: if a man is not honorable and pure before marriage, why would he be so afterward? However, if he could not keep his hands to himself before marriage, how do you know he will keep them to just you after marriage?

Does he spew his anger all over everyone, including you? Proverbs -25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” If you are not to make friendships with angry people, why would you covenant yourself to someone who fits this description? If he would more readily spend a day on the lake than helping someone in need, this indicates where his heart lies.

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While you do not have to commit to marrying this person right away, you should realize that any guy-girl relationship you begin has the potential to end in marriage. That is why it is important to consider some warning signs you will look for while dating someone. If you desire to have a marriage relationship built on Scripture, you will want to marry a man who will be a strong spiritual leader to you and your future family. Your spiritual maturity may result in frustration and leadership struggles if he is not as strong as you in his relationship with God. Ultimately, your spiritual condition is up to you and you alone.

If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband. Ask yourself these questions: How strong is his relationship with Jesus Christ? How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church? However, in Ephesians Paul compares a husband’s role toward his wife with that of Christ’s role toward His Bride, the Church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, the she might be holy and without blemish,” (Ephesians -27, emphasis mine).

Christ’s role and a husband’s role do differ because only Christ alone can truly cleanse us.

I am not implying that a man has to be a prude, but he is to be a protector.

If a man is addicted to pornography, he is already committing adultery/fornication in his heart, even before you tie the knot.




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